


Lotus Land

by Viridian5



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: M/M, Slice of Life, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-09
Updated: 2005-08-09
Packaged: 2017-10-02 07:48:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viridian5/pseuds/Viridian5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gojyo's lying awake, watching and wondering.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lotus Land

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Missingwatch for getting me a title. I was lost.

_"Dreams permit each and every one of us to be quietly_  
_and safely insane every night of our lives."_  
 -- William Dement  
\------------------------------------------------------------------

I just didn't get it. I should have been out cold, getting Goku kind of sleep. Instead of being in the back of Jeep trying to find space, I had a mattress. Kind of. Pallet actually. Still, so much better than sleeping in Jeep like we'd been for the past four nights straight. Tonight I'd slept for a little while but woke up and couldn't get back to sleep now. This sucked. This was a waste of a room.

Made me wanna wake the other guys up to share my misery. Nah, that would be mean.

Hakkai had the one, narrow bed in the room. Like idiots, we'd drawn cards to see who'd get it. As Sanzo growled afterwards, Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results. ("You mean 'insanity,'" Hakkai had said. "They're not so different," Sanzo had replied.) So Hakkai and Jeep had the bed, which couldn't hold more than one skinny youkai and a small dragon. I would've tried to share anyway, but I'd have to be on top of him the whole time, a pretty thought but not realistic. I knew I'd get bucked to the floor. It seemed to be my lot in life, poor me.

So I had to have a pallet on the floor near the other two suckers. We each had one, though Goku didn't really need it. Crazy kid ends up sprawled all over the place anyway, and almost nothing could wake him up. I know: I've pinched his nose shut once in a while just to see what would happen. He had his foot propped up on Sanzo's leg, though our own holy shit just kept sleeping on his side, curled up and cute, despite being Goku's footstool. Sanzo sleeps light, but Goku rarely woke him up by accident. They had a weird thing going, those two.

When Sanzo slept in Jeep he kept his head down, letting his golden hair hide him. I figured that he kept it longish and shaggy as a kind of privacy curtain, because right now it had fallen away from his face and left him looking kind of open and young in the soft glow of moonlight. Pretty thing he might be, but he'd get wrinkles on his forehead at an early age from how he used his face when he was awake.

It was so damned weird being packed in a small room with a group like this because I always figured I'd spend my life alone. I'd pick up a chick a night or so, but otherwise I'd be a lone wolf, free to do my own thing. At least it sounded better that way. I still didn't know what I'd done to deserve what I'd ended up with instead.

Even if I couldn't sleep, at least everybody else was getting some rest in. As much as I sometimes felt that being in the back of Jeep meant I'd been put in the kiddie section, sleeping back there had to be better than trying to do it sitting upright in the front seats. I didn't know how Sanzo and Hakkai managed it. Practice maybe.

"Mmm," Sanzo said softly, still asleep. He had nightmares sometimes but usually quietly, suffering and smothering and shaking without letting out more than a few tiny whimpers, as if afraid that somebody would find him and do something awful to him if he were any louder. When he had a _really_ bad one everyone knew, but that didn't happen often and nobody mentioned it the next day. When I asked Hakkai about him being so quiet, he said that Sanzo had spent some years alone on the road searching for something, and that would have been fine by me and forgettable if Hakkai hadn't followed it up by saying that I usually did my nightmares the same way.

I hated being awake and sober in the middle of the night. I thought such useless, stupid thoughts at these times.

"Mmm," Sanzo murmured again and shifted, graceful and sexy, almost... wiggling. Didn't sound like a bad or scared "mmm."

Hey. That hadn't sounded like a bad "mmm" at all.

He shifted again, his long fingers flexed, and he panted softly, lips parted and slightly wet. Before going to bed he'd halfway peeled off his robe, so above his waist he wore only his rings, his slinky black top, the long gloves, and those metal bands on his upper arms. How did he stand those bands? But the ensemble added some kink to the bit of writhing he currently had going on, as if I needed any more hotness in this little show. No one except Sanzo would blame me for reacting like this, not if they'd been here watching with me.

Who are you dreaming about, Cherry-chan? How much real experience have you had?

He would kill me if he knew I'd seen this. He'd kill me if he knew I'd stroked off to the sound and sight of him getting sexed up in his dreams. He'd wake up if I touched him like I so wanted to and then he would kill me.

I didn't touch him. I did touch myself and tried to stay quiet as I watched him undulate and gasp in response to the moves of some phantom lover, moves I couldn't help imagining. I wanted to kiss his pink, wet lips, especially since I figured that an awake Sanzo would never kiss.

In real life he wouldn't be so quiet. I was sure. In real life he would sneer, make demands, and try not to show how much he enjoyed anything. In his dreams he sighed and surrendered and accepted, so sweet, so hot, so weirdly gentle, completely unselfconscious and uninhibited.

I had to bite my free hand to muffle myself as I came hard.

When Sanzo finished Goku's foot finally slid off Sanzo's leg. Sanzo rolled over and quieted, making it so I couldn't see his face anymore. Kind of a relief, really, since I didn't know if I'd be able to face him post-jerk even with him sleeping, his eyes closed. I felt a little guilty. A little. Mostly I felt sleepy and satisfied and sticky, although not sticky enough to override the sleepy and satisfied to go wash up.

Feeling like I was being stared at, I looked up and saw that Hakkai's eyes were open. He'd just watched me with my hand down my pants as I'd watched Sanzo. Maybe he'd watched Sanzo some too. His smile at me had some heat in it, so he'd enjoyed the show, then he closed his eyes to either sleep or fake, comforting and familiar, unashamed to be a pervert along with me.

_I_ fell asleep.

I woke up from a soft kick to the head, with a fully dressed and put together Sanzo, no longer open, sneering down at me. "Lazy kappa," he said.

"Have a good night, Sanzo-sama?" I asked while I couldn't help smirking over how he'd given me one. Did he remember his dream or just wake up sticky? Was he annoyed at himself?

Obviously annoyed at _somebody_, like that was rare, he walked away without answering me. That guy was so much easier to deal with in his sleep. You'd think that getting some dream nookie would have helped his mood. It had done wonders for mine.

 

### End


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